~Love Is Just A Word~

SAD CASE...

2011-09-11T07:55:00.001-07:00

2day very sad arr...

My fav handphone drop in2 de toilet n i cant gt it bck anymre le...

I cried 4 abr half an hour 4 tat!!!

Ahh...!!! Very down whole day...my fav n moz important phone arr...T^T

Tiring...

2011-04-24T01:43:00.000-07:00

Haiz...I've become tired of my current self...
Wad can i do 2 chg all tis i'm going tru at de moment?
I reli cant take it...y cant dey understand me mre?!
Y we hv 2 argue/mad at each other jz becuz of sum lil things?!
Urgh!izit becuz my bad temper?!or its her attitude?!
I reli cant take it anymre longer...
1 laz chance i'll giv 2 our stupid frenship...
1 mre tym,1 mre arguement!its done!i'll quit!
U go find urself another fren in ur life!
I'll step out 4 sure...
I dun wanna died frm gtin mad on sum1 stupid!>@<

Recently...

2011-04-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

Well...I'm away for quite a period...
So 2day I'm bck 4 mre updates 4 u peeps...^^
I've retrieved my SPM results...2As,2Bs,1C+,3Cs,1D,& finally...1E...
Average result 4 a lazybug I think...bt atleast I'd passed my SPM huh?^^
Laz 2 weeks was a dark week 4 me...many things happened n I don't wish 2 talk abt it anymre so I'm nt gonna post any details abt it in here...
I think imma gonna study Form6 so i still hv 2 mre yrs 2 waste...><
Hope my bestie can teman me study Form6 la...bt moz of dem edi gt their target n dey hv edi started their journey fighting towards their targets...so tat means I'm alone once agn...I was hoping I can make new frens tat r truely frens in tis 2 yrs...
I'm sick of pretending n gtin ignored...tat reli hurts me alot...so I wun take down de very same path once agn...I'll make myself hapiie in tis 2 yrs b4 i futher my studies... <3

P.S. Nw trying my bez in "kao zai" mission...hope I can find my Mr.Right soon^^

SPM Results!!!

2011-03-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

Omigosh!!! SPM results r gonna come out on nxt Wed...><
Damn! I think all my intenstine is in a knot nw...
Butterflies everywhr in my gut><
So damn hope my result wudnt b 2 cruel 2 luk @...><
Haiz...after gtin my results...starts de new journey of my studies 4 future...
Which path shud I take?Honestly?I still dun hv any idea...
Plz GOD...save poor me...plz tell me wad shud I do? ><

生日快樂！！！

2011-01-15T04:42:00.000-08:00

哇！過幾天就是我的生日咯！今年。。。我好想簡簡單單地慶祝哦。。。跟朋友聚在一起。。。做什麼都好！就是別去看戲唱K了啦。。。
有時我會有種衝動想要一個人慶祝。。。希望所有人都忘了我的生日。。。可能，這樣就能有個不一樣的生日了。。。
今年是我18歲的生日。。。曾經想過會有個特別的人陪我度過。。。但是2010年的8月，我的希望變沒望。。。哈哈。。。超好笑的。。。不理了啦。。。說謊也罷！我今年不想被人約！我要一個人也能快快樂樂地度過本大小姐的18歲生日！！！

P.S.加油！加油！加油！今年一定要過個與眾不同的生日！ <3

SPM 就快要结束咯！！！

2010-12-11T09:29:00.000-08:00

还有最后一张考卷就完成了SPM了。。。有点想要时间倒流，回到去年。。。
如果我没有听我妈的话，而去选读ART Stream。。。现在的我，应该有所不同吧？
但是，不听都听了咯。。。SPM也就快要考完了。。。没什么好说了。。。
接下来的路要怎么走，我自己也不知道。。。我觉得很害怕，但是我不敢跟别人说。。。
我也找不到听众来听我的心事。。。每个人都有自己的烦恼。。。
我不可能因为自己的烦恼而去打扰人家。。。反正他们也不一定帮我解决掉烦恼。。。
明年我爸爸妈妈都要退休了。。。如果我勉强自己去读Form6，也不懂有没有这个能力和金钱去读。。。
想要出来找工作做，也不知道我的SPM成绩qualified没有。。。真的好烦啊！！！
有很多事，我真的很想坦白。。。但是我自私，胆小，害怕，我不敢说出真相。。。
结果造成妈妈的痛苦，爸爸的遗憾。。。有时我真的觉得自己很不孝。。。
但是我就是提不起劲要改过自新。。。我有想过！想要改过！但是改不了。。。
有人可能会说我只是懒惰，不肯改。。。他们说得容易！他们是大人！过来人！他们以为自己很了解我们年轻人的心态！但是我可以在这里告诉你们，他们都错了！我们人类在世界上都是独一无二的。。。
可能！可能他们经历过类似我们现在的情况。。。但是他们当时的想法，未必跟我们现代人的一样。。。
有很多事情，都不会是我们能掌控的。。。其实我们人类每个人都很无助的。。。都需要别人给我们帮助。。。

><我怎么扯到酱远去==回来回来！

刚才说到SPM要结束了。。。感到很高兴也很恐惧。。。高兴是因为终于考完我们这些年来都在筹备着的SPM；恐惧是因为，我明白，考完SPM也就是我踏入另外一个阶段的世界。。。我有可能继续读书，读得更高，更远；也有可能读不来，休学，开始工作，只能做个打工仔。。。每个月的薪水可能还少过我妈的。。。
说句不吉利的话，等只剩下我一个人在这个世界上的时候，那时我就真的是孤独一人了。。。唉。。。现在我只能拼命的逃避现实。。。每天约人出街。。。希望能借用现在的时光来忘记接下来要面对的事情。。。
让我快快乐乐度过以后的日子吧～

Days Passed...

2010-09-21T02:08:00.001-07:00

How many days we hvnt chat wif each other?
I miz u alot...bt I cant do anything abt it...
I dunno shud I w8 anymre anot...
Wad if u dun wan me anymre...den wad shud I b doing nxt?
I hv no idea wad's de situation nw...I jz cant think anymre rite nw...
Exams r coming soon...Life is full of stress...Shud I giv up?
I wish I hv sum1 beside me rite nw 2 listen 2 my worries...
Bt I had no1 by my side...I hv probs wif my besties...
I dunno wad shud I do 2 fix all de mess...T_T
I told myself 2 concentrate on my SPM for tis few months jz lyk all d other student is doing rite nw...Bt I jz cant focus on studies...
Urgh...I'm reli messed up...! ><

My Creation Of Ideas...^^

2010-09-05T07:05:00.000-07:00

Well...I lyk 2 take photos whreva i went 2...n I usually edits those pics I took... My editting skills r nt reli gd bt I'm trying 2 improve it...hr r sum pics tat i editted...plz enjor ur tour...^^

Well...tats all 4 nw...Hope u guys enjoy c-ing my edition...
If any1 wanna leave a comment abt my pics,plz do so...Thnx...^^

※→等待←※

2010-04-27T08:48:00.000-07:00

『27/4』

我一定會等你的。。。
雖然我不明白為什麼，但是我知道你這樣一定有你的理由。。。
我對你是不是真心，你以後一定會明白的。。。
所以我現在選擇等待。。。
我不要你感到和我在一起是一種負擔。。。
我要你為你自己開心，而不是為了我而開心。。。
你是第一個讓我為了自己以外擔心的人。。。
也是第一個讓我掉眼淚的人。。。
每一段愛情，一定會有苦，也會有甜。。。
我希望你在乎的，不是我們的辛苦。。。
而是我們在一起的每一刻。。。
雖然我能無限制的等著你。。。
不過也請你別忘了我的等待，別讓它變得不值得。。。
俊傑，我永遠都那麼的愛你。。。

『2010』

2010-02-23T02:03:00.000-08:00

Wow...a year of tiger...time pasted faz...
I'm in F5 nw...n idk wad can i achieve in tis year...
Hv SPM tis year...dunno can pass anot...haiz...
After tis year...i wun b seeing my frens n ppl frm PMO anymre...
Kinda miz dem nw edi...T_T...haiz...wad can i do?
I feel so clueless...especially after CNY break...
When i went bck 2 skul...i hv no idea wad 2 do...
Problems wif frenship still occurs...other relationship even worse...
Sumthing happened 2 my family members...sum sort of sickness...
Dunno wad can i do 4 him...all my family members r worried abt him...
Especially my grandma...haiz...year of tiger...is it reli a gd year for me?

『Failure』

2009-11-16T01:25:00.000-08:00

Urgh!!!Lose again this time!
Why is has to be this result when it comes to this kinda things...am i that bad in this?
Haiz...I don't wanna care abt it anymre larr...let the fate decide shud i suceed in this kinda things lor...
I just wanna relax for the coming year...so that my heart can heal up...
==...why am I talking lyk a dying person...==
Should I end my life here at this moment?
Well...nobody will cares by the way...Why should'nt I?
Hmmm...I wish I can overcome whatever probs I'm hvin with my friends at the moment...
Cuz...I CAN'T LOSE ANYMRE!!!!
Otherwise...I'll really commit suicide...^^

P.S.Any1 hu cares abt me...when u read tis post...plz dun ask me anything abt it...I wanna rest...pity my heart larr...It can't receive any shock anymre...if not i'll really broke down next time...heart failure...^^

『选择』

2009-11-10T09:40:00.001-08:00

我到底有没有做错。。。？
这个选择。。。对我们两个来讲。。。可能是好的。。。
不过。。。对她。。。可能会造成很深的伤害。。。
我该怎么办？放手？还是赌一赌？
运气会站在我这边？还是命运想要耍我？
为什么这个世界有那么多的选择？
为什么我们必须选择？
如果选择后，会造成别人的痛苦。。。
我宁愿被选中的人是她。。。
最近很烦。。。全部事物都好像跟我作对一样。。。
他选择了我。。。不过我没有选择我自己。。。
希望。。。他的选择是对的。。。
好让我以后不必用我现在保留的选择。。。选择离开他。。。

『中秋节。。。快乐吗？』

2009-10-02T08:27:00.000-07:00

明天就是中秋节了。。。我去年没能陪你。。。今天。。。还是逃不过。。。
原谅我不能祝福你。。。我的心。。。没办法负荷酱的负担。。。我看不过去。。。
我想。。。你有他。。。就能过每一天了吧。。。你一直说。。。我们的友情不会因为他而有所改变。。。但是。。。看来。。。已经不能挽回了。。。我们的友情。。。已经在摇动了。。。
这不是你害的。。。而是我自己自找麻烦。。。自己拿事情来烦。。。我的心已经不会是完整无缺了。。。要恢复也是不可能的事。。。我们三个好朋友。。。真的要因为男生而感情破裂吗？我不想要酱的结局。。。我不管你们的另一半。。。我只想我们三个回到以前的日子。。。好好的做回好朋友。。。中秋节没什么可以给你。。。只能在这里跟你说：“中秋节快乐”。

~Dying~

2009-07-14T08:16:00.001-07:00

I feel like dying...
I wanna kill myself...
Bt sumthing hv been holding me back...
I cant figure out wad is tat...
Bt sumthing...sumthing's been telling me 2 stay alive...
Atleast nt crying infront og any1 else...
Everyday...i feel lyk crying...bt i hv no tears coming out...
Bt 2day...14/7/2009...i cried...reli badly...
Bt i still feel unhapi...
Y m I lyk tat...
Izit sumthing wrong wif my lifestyle or sumthing is wrong wif my attitude?
Shud i chg? Or jz kill myself n remain my old style in my fren's memory...
I h8 me!

-Committed Suicide On 15/7/2009 After Posted In Tis Blog-

『Piano』

2009-07-08T03:22:00.000-07:00

My soul is the piano, his words are the keys.
Together we compose, the best of symphonies.

How my soul replays his words of the day.
Like a composer writing a play.

I hear the music, as he strikes a key.
an orchestra, is what I see.

Two soul that share a common ground.
a friendship they have found.

What is a piano, without the player.
It's like a soul, without a desire.

It sits alone in the dark,
waiting for someone to light a spark.

A hope or a desire,
waiting for someone to inspire.

To play a song of the heart,
a song of two souls that will never depart.

GUILTY or INNOCENT

2009-06-15T07:56:00.000-07:00

RULE 1: You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2: You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks! ( So, if you want an explanation.. Please comment.)

Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 20 of your friends to answer this. Then see what happens.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Asked someone to marry you?
Innocent

Kissed one of your Facebook friends?
Guilty

Danced on a table in a bar?
Innocent

Ever told a lie?
Guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?
Guilty

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
Guilty

Kissed a picture?
Guilty

Slept in until 5 PM?
Innocent

Fallen asleep at work/school?
Guilty

Held a snake?
Innocent

Been suspended from school?
Innocent

Worked at a fast food restaurant?
Innocent

Stolen from a store?
Guilty

Been fired from a job?
Innocent

Done something you regret?
Guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
Guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
Innocent

Kissed in the rain?
Innocent

Sat on a roof top?
Innocent

Kissed someone you shouldn't?
Innocent

Sang in the shower?
Guilty

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
Innocent

Shaved your head?
Innocent

Slept naked?
Innocent

Had a boxing membership?
Innocent

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Guilty

Been in a band?
Guilty

Shot a gun?
Guilty

Donated Blood?
Innocent

Eaten alligator meat?
Innocent

Eaten cheesecake?
Guilty

Still love someone you shouldn't?
Guilty

Have/had a tattoo?
Guilty

Liked someone, but will never tell who?
Guilty

Been too honest?
Innocent

Ruined a surprise?
Guilty

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can't walk afterwards?
Guilty

Erased someone in your friends list?
Guilty

Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)?
Innocent

Joined a pageant?
Innocent

Been told that you're handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?
Innocent

Had communication with your ex?
Guilty

Dating Someone?
Guilty

Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?
Innocent

A total stranger treat you by paying your public transportation fare?
Guilty

Get totally angry that you cried so hard?
Guilty

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Tags: First 19 people who reads this and Kristy Choy (who tagged me)

『美丽的谎言。。。能否让感情永久？自私的谎言。。。是否也能瞒得长久？』

【UNGU ROXX】

2009-05-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

Since every1 r posting abt sports day n our preparation 4 de BIG day...
I suddenly hv de urge 2 write something 2...I regret tat I din stay bak after sports day...i miz all de fun part...I oso wanna say sorry 2 all de ppl tat r stayin overnite de day b4 sports day...I'm a part of de deco team...bt i din stay overnite...instead,I went bak 2 my hse n slp...Bt...sports day is de happiest day 4 me in tis year!!! I cant w8 4 next year's sports day...Btw, I wanna say TQ 2 all my UNGU frens!!!
TQ 4 bringing me joy n happy memories of de year!!! Ur efforts r appreciated!
I luv my UNGU ALIENS FRENS!!! We're de aliens...ungu aliens...we...come frm de same world!!! Ungu United States!!!! I luv U《UNGU》!!!

P.S.I din reli post much things abt our glory UNGU day...paiseh...paiseh...bt...i did link many ungu members...keke...

放弃。。。

2009-05-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

我发现。。。学会放弃。。。对我来说可能是一种解脱。。。我想。。。有时在人生中。。。选择放弃。。。也是件好事。。。至少。。。生活比较好。。。不会再被一股又一股的压力给压得喘不过气来。。。学会放弃。。。让我不再在乎某些事情。。。也能让我轻松下来了。。。哇。。。好好哦。。。放弃。。。还真不赖。。。

我们。。。是不是就这样。。。完了。。。？

2009-05-08T01:41:00.000-07:00

我们从认识到现在。。。都没有真真的。。。出街一次。。。我们已经缺乏很多的沟通时间。。。我们根本不像现在我们这个身份。。。我们比较像个普通朋友。。。我们都不懂彼此的生活。。。
根本不称得上是了解对方。。。我们彼此都很疑惑。。。犹豫。。。我们根本不适合对方。。。但是。。。我很清楚一点。。。那就是。。。我愿意用无限的时光去了解你。。。只不过。。。你心里要的什么？你自己清楚吗？你要我继续等你的答复等下去？还是。。。我们过回我们自己想要的生活？你不妨告诉我。。。免得。。。我越等越失望。。。越等越累。。。现在结束。。。不代表以后不能回头。。。不过。。。如果现在还是这样的拖泥带水。。。那。。。只会造成我对你的反感。。。而且越来越恨我自己。。。

Autumn Times

2009-03-31T08:31:00.000-07:00

Autumn breeze frigidly touches ailing dreadful lives
Harshly darkness quietly surrounds the broken souls
Mellow serenades that once played between hearts
Pathetically have transformed into bitter sad songs

Somewhere beyond the flossy clouds
Cupid has lost his romancing arrows
Plays sad sonorous tunes on his bow
Dedicated to all weepy lonely hearts

Howling chilly wind blows through the mist
Sounds of sorrow spread allover the place
Fuzzy humid air submerges the inner lust
Lives decay slowly as the autumn leaves fall...

~朋友~

2009-02-15T05:39:00.000-08:00

Myspace Layouts
何时，你出现在我眼前?

何时，你成为我生命中最重要的唯一?

何时，我不能没了你？

你，是否也像我一样？

我，是否也是你生命中最重要的唯一?

我们，是否能像现在一样开开心心地永远在一起?

这个答案，你能否实实在在地告诉我吗?

我，会在这里等待你的答复。。。

我不希望等待的回报会是一个我不想要的答复。。。

Myspace Layouts

~PASSION~

2008-11-12T10:01:00.001-08:00

SOME have won a wild delight,
By daring wilder sorrow;
Could I gain thy love to-night,
I'd hazard death to-morrow.

Could the battle-struggle earn
One kind glance from thine eye,
How this withering heart would burn,
The heady fight to try!

Welcome nights of broken sleep,
And days of carnage cold,
Could I deem that thou wouldst weep
To hear my perils told.

Tell me, if with wandering bands
I roam full far away,
Wilt thou to those distant lands
In spirit ever stray?

Wild, long, a trumpet sounds afar;
Bid me--bid me go
Where Seik and Briton meet in war,
On Indian Sutlej's flow.

Blood has dyed the Sutlej's waves
With scarlet stain, I know;
Indus' borders yawn with graves,
Yet, command me go!

Though rank and high the holocaust
Of nations steams to heaven,
Glad I'd join the death-doomed host,
Were but the mandate given.

Passion's strength should nerve my arm,
Its ardour stir my life,
Till human force to that dread charm
Should yield and sink in wild alarm,
Like trees to tempest-strife.

If, hot from war, I seek thy love,
Darest thou turn aside?
Darest thou then my fire reprove,
By scorn, and maddening pride?

No--my will shall yet control
Thy will, so high and free,
And love shall tame that haughty soul--
Yes--tenderest love for me.

I'll read my triumph in thine eyes,
Behold, and prove the change;
Then leave, perchance, my noble prize,
Once more in arms to range.

I'd die when all the foam is up,
The bright wine sparkling high;
Nor wait till in the exhausted cup
Life's dull dregs only lie.

Then Love thus crowned with sweet reward,
Hope blest with fulness large,
I'd mount the saddle, draw the sword,
And perish in the charge!

~MEMORY~

2008-11-02T00:18:00.000-07:00

OW I loved you in your sleep,
With the starlight on your hair!

The touch of your lips was sweet,
Aziza whom I adore,
A lay at your slender feet,
And against their soft palms pressed,
I fitted my face to rest.
As winds blow over the sea
From Citron gardens ashore,
Came, through your scented hair,
The breeze of the night to me.

My lips grew arid and dry,
My nerves were tense,
Though your beauty soothe the eye
It maddens the sense.
Every curve of that beauty is known to me,
Every tint of that delicate roseleaf skin,
And these are printed on ever atom of me,
Burnt in on every fibre until I die.
And for this, my sin,
I doubt if ever, though dust I be,
The dust will lose the desire,
The torment and hidden fire,
Of my passionate love for you.
Aziza whom I adore,
My dust will be full of your beauty, as is the blue
And infinite ocean full of the azure sky.

In the light that waxed and waned
Playing about your slumber in silver bars,
As the palm trees swung their feathery fronds athwart the stars,
How quiet and young you were,
Pale as the Champa flowers, violet veined,
That, sweet and fading, lay in your loosened hair.

How sweet you were in your sleep,
With the starlight on your hair!
Your throat thrown backwards, bare,
And touched with circling moonbeams, silver white
On the couch's sombre shade.
O Aziza my one delight,
When Youth's passionate pulses fade,
And his golden heart beats slow,
When across the infinite sky
I see the roseate glow
Of my last, last sunset flare,
I shall send my thoughts to this night
And remember you as I die,
The one thing, among all the things of this earth, found fair.

How sweet you were in your sleep,
With the starlight, silver and sable, across your hair!